


Reporting for Duty

by Starlithorizon



Series: Alchemy and Guitar Ties [16]
Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Martin Crieff's Hat, absolutely ridiculous, does this even count as fluff?, hats worn really correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlithorizon/pseuds/Starlithorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martin comes home to a surprise from Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reporting for Duty

**Author's Note:**

> That line Arthur uses (you'll know the one) just popped into my head one day, and this is what came of it. I though it was absolutely hilarious. Sorry for subjecting you to this. (Just kidding, I'm totally not sorry, this was fun.)

It had been a long day, certainly, and Martin was beat. He'd spent his day hauling one sofa, two armoires, and a dining table across town, and all of that large furniture had worn him to the bone. Still, it was nice knowing that it was money dedicated to the home he made with his husband.

When he pulled into the drive, he noted that said husband was home. He'd left early that morning to give his illustrations to Margie, and clearly he had already returned. It was nice, coming home to Arthur.

He was surprised, however, to find the living room and kitchen both empty.

"Arthur?" he called, pulling off his moving gloves and back brace.

"In here, Skip," Arthur responded from the bedroom. Though he was exhausted, he found himself grinning (very nearly leering) and heading in the direction of the other man's voice.

Of course, when he got there, the other man was nowhere to be found.

"Where are you?" Martin asked, looking around. He heard a laugh, practically a giggle, from the closet. His grin only stretched wider.

"I want you to close your eyes, Skip," Arthur said from the closet. Martin complied. There was quite a bit of rustling, and perhaps the sound of a bumped elbow, but eventually he heard the closet doors open and close. Bare feet padded over the floor to stand a few feet before him. Martin had his eyes screwed up in effort to keep them closed.

"Are you ready?" Arthur asked teasingly. He had that voice Martin so loved, the one that went straight to the marrow of his bones, dancing along his skin and arousing less than gentlemanly feelings within him.

Martin opened his eyes, and blinked. Twice.

Standing before him was his Arthur, starkers but for a captain's hat— _Martin's hat_ —perched atop his head. Martin couldn't decide how to respond, so he settled for silence.

Arthur took that as his cue to speak. He adopted a heroic pose, dipped his head low, and looked at Martin through his lashes.

"Captain, Wing Commander, Sir Arthur Booty reporting for duty."

There was a very, very brief silence before both men fell to giggling. The giggling then turned to laughing, then to guffawing. After a while, they both had tears in their eyes.

"Oh, God, Arthur," Martin said breathlessly, the laughter still in his voice. "Where on earth did you get this idea?"

"Dunno, just came to me," Arthur said brightly. Martin leaned in and kissed him, and, well, things went as they normally did when one presented himself naked to the other, complete with an _incredibly_ cheesy chat-up line. And, yes, you would be surprised at how often it happened. Just, you know, without the hat. That one was new, and different, and awkward, and so perfectly Arthur.

Martin called him Arthur Booty for a week, to which Mr Booty would readily reply, "Reporting for duty!" This often received dramatic eye-rolls from Douglas, but even he couldn't help from chuckling at the absurdity. Carolyn was less than amused (though she was fairly pleased when Herc adopted the line; she hadn't laughed so much in all her life).

The hat became and old hand at this sort of thing, though, and Martin probably wore it naked more often than he did with his uniform.

You can thank Sir Arthur Booty for that one.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost entirely certain that this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever written.


End file.
